Most of the training I deliver is oriented towards Occupational Health and Safety (OHS). Generally speaking, OHS is pretty straightforward, and getting people to cognitively understand the concepts is easy. However, cognitive understanding is NOT where the magic lies. The magic is in the hidden curriculum.
In one recent Supervisor Leadership class, we looked at the 5 Love Languages (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages), and were discussed how these connect to being a more effective leader at work.
One of the Five Love Languages is "Words of Affection". If someone has this as their primary love language, they may respond well spoken compliments on the quality of their work.
Upon hearing this, one of the participants (lets call them Bob) said "well, I'm an adult and I don't need anyone giving me a pat on the back and treating me like a kid. I don't need to tell other people they're doing a good job, they should just know it". The funny thing is that 1 minute BEFORE that person made the bold statement another participant (lets call them Sarah) had specifically said "I really appreciate when I get told that I did a great job. That feedback is the only thing I need to stay motivated at work."
Me: "Bob, I get that words of affirmation isn't your language. That's cool. However, Sarah just said a minute ago that she appreciates words of affirmation." Bob: "Well maybe, but I don't think people need that kind of verbal feedback. We're all mature enough to not need it."
Me: "Bob, she SPECIFICALLY stated quite clearly that words of affirmation are VERY important to her." Sarah: "That's right. I find it really helpful when my boss tells me that I did a good job." Bob: *silence* *thinking* "Wow!" Me: "What's happening here?"
Bob: "I just realized that I have to get outside of my own perspective when dealing with others, and that I have to practice this on a regular basis. It's so easy for me to just see others as I see myself, and it ends with me getting frustrated a lot of the time."
'click'. Another piece of self-discovery and personal growth fell into place. I couldn't have planned for Bob to learn that life lesson. His self-reflection and critical analysis of identify / values was his own doing. And that lesson is exactly how he will become a better leader at work.
THIS is what learning is about. When we (as instructors) create the space, and cultivate an opportunity, there are wonderful nuggets of tremendous value that can't be captured with an assessment tool or a multiple choice question. Yet these hidden curriculum learning results are every bit as important (possibly MORE important) to fostering a better generation of workers / people.
The Five Languages
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Tangible gifts
- Appropriate Physical touch.